No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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