her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
