3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
