i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
