doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
