This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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