I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
