Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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