apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
