my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
