Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We smell like vodka and hangover
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