new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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