Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
