So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
