ugly people sure do ruin things
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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