This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
