the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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