I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
