You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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