I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
