But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
