Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
