thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He felt like a one man threesome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
