This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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