I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
