i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
