she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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