I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
