i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
