the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
