I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
