I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
