remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
