so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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