can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
