I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
