your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
