You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
