There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
