So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
