Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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