Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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