also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
