Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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