I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"it" just moved
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
