He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
