In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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