tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
