he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
