He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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