I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
