he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
