I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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