We're facebook friends in real life
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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