this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
