im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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